Have you tried Deepak? It can put you in control. Learn more through Ontological Coaching.
Updated: Aug 22, 2021
Deepak Chopra is a generous person. He probably has the most listenable to voice I have ever discovered. The beauty of his work just oozes from the flow of his voice as he guides you through life-enhancing meditation, which if you have ever or never tried, he makes so easy.
Pop some headphones on, click on his YouTube channel (there's a link at the bottom of the blog), and in seconds you'll be understanding what I mean. He pays forwards with free daily guided meditation and I highly recommend you give it a go because it will help you to understand and to practice the concept of being present......
A bit more about Ontological Coaching and the experience of being. When I coach people using Ontological techniques, we practice being fully present in the coaching relationship. Present in our minds, our bodies, and emotions. Now I don't want this to sound like pompousness, it's is quite the opposite and has very practical applications.
For example, 'Being' fully aware of and understanding of, and controlling of, your breathing is important. Practicing abdominal breathing enables you to be more relaxed and incredibly focused. Noticing how your body is, is important. If you are stressed it is highly likely your body will be tight and you will be breathing from your chest which is preventing you from being centered in yourself and therefore less present.
Being present in your thoughts and therefore in your ability to truly listen to yourself, your coach and then experience and be fully aware of how you feel, how your nervous system is reacting and responding and directing your physical, emotional and mental state, your thoughts, is a powerful ability.
Coaching people in an Ontological manner can be life-changing for them. Giving people a gift of 'noticing' their state of being and how others might be seeing them and therefore enabling them to take control of this is immense.
Here's an example. Someone may have a habit of, let's say, sitting forwards or crossing their arms or coughing at certain key points when they are in a meeting. The behaviour is, always displayed just before they want to make an important point. But they are completely unaware that they do this.
Other people might be aware of it but they may not 'notice'. Phew!
Some other people though just might be aware and also 'notice' and this gives them a kind of power. Power because they can then respond or do something which is purposeful. So for example, they notice that someone always leans forwards before they make an important point. If they so wish they can then dismiss the point or they can give an acknowledgment or they can fully endorse, but they do it knowingly in the knowledge that their response will have an effect on you because 'they know' that this was important to you. So they may want to upset you or make you feel great but - BAM! They got you.
Ontological Coaching will help to put you back in control. If you are fully present and you have learned to prepare, and are aware of yourself, then you can control the lean, the cough the arms folding and therefore you give no signal unless you want to.
I hope this makes sense.
Now learning about this takes time. Awareness of ontological presence does not necessarily come easy because the coach and coachee need to have developed the kind of relationship where this work is possible. However, practice can make perfect!
Ontological coaching requires you to be fully present and to become an 'Observer' of yourself. Together, coach and coachee practice the art of 'noticing' and reflecting on your state of being, becoming fully aware, and exploring the options of reinforcing or changing your state to your own advantage.
Being an 'Observer of you', more aware of your 'state of being', puts you in control, not being aware can put others in control.
Now to have a bit of practice listen to Deepak Chopra - Guided Meditation
As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts.